It’s a blue Monday. Or at least that’s what they tell me. The formula above is a way to calculate why more people are sad today on blue Monday than any other day of the year. I’m more inclined to attribute the word “brittle” to my Monday attitude. But since we’re “supposed” to be sad today (OMG did you SEE your American Express bill???), here are a few sour notes from the news for your pity orchestra:

1) Fires in the city.
I am bummed out to no end when I heard about Antwone Johnson and his two small children perishing in an apartment fire. Too many people are being injured or perishing this way.
Check your fire alarms, your plug outlets–turn off the space heater if you’re going to be out. Have an escape plan.

2) Car crashes in the city and on the freeways in and out of the city.
I watched the news10 video of the recent I-80 crash with the fascination reserved for train wrecks. This was almost as disturbing.
Stay alert on the road. Thank your lucky stars. Be glad you don’t work on the cleanup crew and that you weren’t on the freeway that day.

3) The Strange death and the end(?) of The End.
I feel sympathy for Mrs. Strange’s children, yet I am ready for this story to be over. Whenever an adult makes a choice to do something, there are consequences. Weigh the difference: is it worth it? Consider your children before you do something risky. Ask yourself again: what are the risks and is it worth it? Trust no one, particularly those who can make a buck off of your (foolish) choice.

4) Troop deaths and troop surges.
I’m a veteran. I’m a parent. I’m a patriot. All three add up to disappointment in current policy.Don’t enlist. Repeat after me: don’t enlist. Don’t let your friend enlist. Don’t let your enemy enlist. Move to Canada. But make sure you have a passport first.

One final thing I would advise: don’t watch the news. If you weren’t blue or bummed out when you started, you will be by the end.