Take lots of these sorts of photos. They’ll help you later. And no, I didn’t buy this dress. Or spend anywhere near that amount of money. Not that I judge anyone else for doing so.

(Btw: before you read about the dress hunt - if you already have a dress, but need alterations, skip to the jump and the end for more on that. Also after the jump - menswear)

Ah the dress. Perhaps the most romantic aspect of all girls’ wedding day dreams. You know the lore: you try on a few, but then, you just “know.” Just like you know when you meet The One man, you know when you meet The One dress, right?

Well, maybe. It wasn’t that fairy-tale is for me. In fact, at times, it was downright frustrating. As mentioned earlier in the series, the wedding industry is doing gangbusters these days. Mostly because of weak brides. In the dress arena, however, the problem of weak brides is compounded by the problem of stupid brides.

Repeat after me: a wedding dress is just another good available to me in the marketplace. [I said repeat.] A wedding dress is not magic and it is something that can be replicated, found elsewhere, and shopped around for. [Go ahead, I'll wait.]

I wholeheartedly recommend to anyone about to begin her dress shopping this book. Hell, borrow my copy, I’m done with it now. In it you’ll find a chapter on The Dress. A lot of the advice in it should seem painfully obvious to you since it’s probably what you’d think of if you were shopping for anything besides a wedding dress. Most bridal salons are akin to used car lots. Except worse. They get you at your most emotionally fragile, tender moment. They get you there with tears in your eyes and in your mom’s eyes. They get you one time only (ideally, anyway). There’s no repeat business (or at least, that’s the mindset we all go with, right?). They get you . . . over a barrel as fast as possible.

My top two complaints (and I’m hardly alone on this) deal with photographs and style numbers. Some salons disallow photographs - usually for two reasons. First, they figure you might take the photo to a seamstress and say “make this.” Second - which gets into overall complaint number two - they figure you’ll - GASP! - want to take that photo and try to look for the dress at another store. I know, shocking right? You might want to comparison shop? Check prices?

Well, complaint number is just as much of a problem, if not more: salons intentionally play fast and loose with style numbers. It’s like trying to comparison shop mattresses (you know the style numbers are store specific so you CAN’T comparison shop, right? True story.). One famous Sac salon gets it half right.

House of Fashion in midtown Sac is just where you hafta go if you’re a Sacramento Bride. Look at it. All 60s flagstone-retro-chic, with its grand staircase and obligatory 60′x75′ blown up shots of Bride By The Capitol and Bride By Vizcaya. Just make an appointment and go. You know you want to.

First off, don’t go on Saturday - it’s a madhouse. Dozens of brides trying on gowns, getting fitted, picking up gowns. It’s insane. Second, take a camera because - hooray! - they allow photography. Be like Cher in Clueless and only trust a photograph, never just a mirror. Also, and here’s the vital advice, take a pen and paper and no matter how much the staff protests or insists the style numbers written on gown tags are “merely internal numbers and no use outside the store” - WRITE THEM DOWN. Or, perhaps better, use that camera to photograph every flippin’ tag or label you can find on the gown. Write down the price. Do NOT fall prey to the idea that you have to buy the dress THAT DAY or that any 10% discount offered (not sure HOF does this, but some do) for buying the gown the first time in the store is a good deal. It isn’t. Nine gowns out of 10 are available online for less money.

Oh and don’t buy their cautions about online retailers either. You can tell a good website from a bad one. You’re fine. Besides, bride & mortar stores can screw you too (see: Panache in Southern California which simply closed its doors earlier this year. Yup, up and shuttered and walked away. Oh, I’m sorry, did you not get that dress you ordered? Whoops. Bummer).

Though I didn’t end up buying a dress through this site, I found BestBridalPrices.com to be extremely helpful - providing me with endless photos of endless dresses AND a friendly, helpful, available staff at their Midwestern, real life store. Trust me, they’re going to be cheaper than most places you’ll go to out here. Plus, many of their styles come with free shipping and a free veil or shoes. The other big internet bonus: no sales tax! That’s no small thing if you’re dropping $500-$1000 or more (eek!) on a dress.

Feel bad about taking business from the hometown crew? Don’t. Remember - there are still plenty of stupid, weak brides who will give them all the business they need. And do you wait for the Macy’s sale to end before you buy those expensive boots because you feel bad for the company? Are you dumb? You’ll need that money and you’ll still spend it on your wedding, don’t you worry.

My dress ended up coming from a salon in Southern California (to which I wasn’t thrilled to give business for many reasons - I’ll skip them here, but it starts with a no-photography rule). I never tried another NorCal salon, though I might have if BridalMart hadn’t indicated to me on the phone that they snip the tags out of their sample dresses. Screw that. Skip them, please.

As a side note to any SoCal bride who stumbles on this or might be traveling down south: The only salon I really WANTED to give money to was Bridal Elegance in Torrance, CA. The proprietor is potentially the most honest woman in business period - let alone in the shady, extortionist populated wedding industry. In this store, they encourage photos. They write down designer names and style numbers. They write down the price. Their philosophy: we’ve priced our dresses fairly, so you go ahead and look elsewhere, if you find something you like better or something for less money, then good for you. I check on their dress prices compared to BestBridayPrices.com and yup, Bridal Elegance was far and away more reasonable than any other salon I was in. High-five to them. Sanity is possible, if rare, to find.

Lastly, if you DO want to patronize local businesses (no, David’s Bridal or BridalMart doesn’t count), you need to do your homework anyway. Find that same dream dress online for $400 less? (It absolutely can be done.) Take that webpage in to the salon and say, I like you, but what are you going to do to match this? If they say nothing, then walk away. I saved several hundred on my dress using this method.

Alterations: I had no idea how to research this area, but fortunately, my friend Mary conveniently was married in March and provided me with a referral to Couture Designs on Fair Oaks Blvd. I didn’t have much complicated work aside from a few tweaks and the bustle, but the service was wonderful and friendly and professional. You certainly don’t want someone less qualified messing up that dress you worked so hard to find, right?

The guys: go to Men’s Warehouse and spend $150 and 10 minutes and are ready to go. They even get free socks out of the deal. The guys suck.

P.S. Almost forgot the bridesmaids: If you can find a style you like, opt for a retailer over specialty dresses. Honestly, no one past the bride should need to deal with salons or specialty dress shops. I found some Ann Taylor dresses from their “Celebrations” line that worked. J.Crew also has a line of bridal party wear (including bridal gowns) that comes in mix-able fabrics and colors. The plus side of J.Crew is the number of styles in a similar fabric that lets maid’s find the best fit. The downside - and it’s a big one - J.Crew likes to rotate lines by season, which absolutely doesn’t work with the normal bridal planning calendar. If you spend a year on your wedding and order your dress the recommended 6 months in advance, don’t count on the bridesmaids dresses still being available, so buy ‘em early. J.Crew sucks like that. A bit more continuity would be appreciated. Ann Taylor, on the other hand, has way too many dresses in shiny fabrics that I still think are an enemy of all cameras. In the end, my girls looked fine, but I think I’d have thought through the fabric more before picking one out.

For more:
Day One: The Series
Day Two: The Dress
Day Three: The Photographer
Day Four: The Music
Day Five: The Cake
Day Six: The Flowers
Day Seven: The Legal Stuff
Day Eight: Random Other Stuff

Related posts:

1. How To Plan A Wedding In Sacramento: A Series
2. How To Plan A Wedding In Sacramento: The Photographer
3. How To Plan A Wedding In Sacramento: Random Other Stuff
4. How To Plan A Wedding In Sacramento: The Flowers
5. How To Plan A Wedding In Sacramento: The Legal Stuff