I like to eat. Moreover, despite weighing in at about a buck fifty, I’m good at it. I do not fear the French Dip at Bud’s Buffet. I go mano a mano y tenedor a tenedor with my six-foot-three uncle for fourths on my father’s spectacular twice-baked potatoes at Thanksgiving. And you had better have your financial reserves in place when you open the doors to your all-you-can eat pizza buffet for $6.95 and find me standing outside—I’m going to make a dent in your kid’s college fund.

Yesterday, however, I met my match at Gaylord Indian Buffet. I met a friend at 14th and O around 11:45 to beat the rush, and there was just another foursome in the restaurant. We picked a table close to the eight steaming chafing dishes, and did not even bother sitting down or letting the waiter finish his, “Would you like the buffet, or should I bring you a me…” “Buffet!!” We picked up plates and began our gustatory experience.

Plate 1:

Rice with coriander and peas. Simple, and I made sure…

not to take too much. Who wants to load up on rice, despite its newly acquired status as a luxury good?

Chicken in a creamy, spicy orange sauce. I ladled this on my rice. It was delicious.

Tandoori Chicken: I grabbed a thigh, and since I was not in a bar, I did not get slapped (or if in the Pine Cove, a phone number). Instead, I was rewarded with a pungently flavorful yumminess.

Creamed Spinach with Farmer’s cheese: This barely qualified as a vegetable, it was so rich. Cubes of cheese among the green.

Potatoes, carrots, peas in yet another sauce: I dipped a lot of naan into this.

Chana Masala, aka chickpeafest: Not too spicy, yet not too boring. Another naan magnet.

Vegetable fritter.: Looked like some squash and maybe potato. Made with an unidentifiable spice.

Chickpea dumpling with yogurt: A little dry for my tastes, but the yogurt took care of that minor quibble.

The talk was free-flowing, and the meal disappeared rather rapidly.

We removed our chicken bones, and headed back. Our plates were so clean, we just reused them.

Plate 2:

More rice. More creamy chicken. More creamed spinach. More vegetables. More chickpeas. Antoher fritter. Naan, naan, naan. I passed on the second round of Tandoori, just so I wouldn’t feel like I was overindulging.

I made it through everything except about four bites of the creamy chicken, and then I took a little rest. Three minutes of water and conversation, and I finished up.

For those of you who are gluttons, there’s also a selection of desserts, but I’ve always found the Indian honey-laden confections to be too rich for my blood.

We said our goodbyes, and I began walking across Capitol Park back to my office. Halfway across the park, I had to stop and lean against a post for a bit whilst watching some tie-clad bocci players and a lone hackysacker. I would have asked if I could join the hack, but all my blood was being diverted to my stomach for digestion—I was barely able to walk, much less pull off The Jester.

I cannot recall the last time I was so full, and so full of good food. $12.50 may seem expensive for a Sacramento buffet, but if you’re looking for quantity and quality, Gaylord is the place.

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