The Tailor of K Street…

I didn’t really know what to put up as my first official Metroblogging post, but thankfully the universe intervened today and gave me ample ammunition.

So I bought a pair of jeans at a thrift store a few weeks ago. They are cool, but too long. For a while I was content to turn up the cuffs a bit, but then I got annoyed. I planned to get them hemmed, but I also wanted to maintain the original cuff. I thought to myself: “This is a job for the eccentric but superb Croatian tailor at Mike’s Menswear on K Street!”

I stopped by this afternoon , and he asked me to put on the jeans. After he marked them with those cool chalk thingies that all tailors have, I asked if he could maintain the original cuff.

“I could, but I won’t do it,” he replied.
“Why not?”
“Because it’s wrong.”
I was confused.
“I’m confused. Why is it wrong?”
“I won’t do it because it’s wrong, I won’t just move the cuff up, it’s wrong — I don’t want it.”

I had ample time to reflect on this bizarre exchange as I sulkily put my original pants back on in the dressing room. How could it possibly be so wrong? Would he lose membership in some sort of tailor’s union if he sullied his hands with an unclean cuff? Or was I unwittingly driving down his profit margin by denying him the opportunity to charge me for a cuff he had created himself? What commandment was I breaking?

It remains a mystery. I considered digging deeper, but as I left the dressing room, I heard him on the phone.
“Yes sir. No, I told him I wouldn’t do it.”
“I understand. I will make amends right away. Thank you for this kindness, sir.”

As I walked out the door, the tailor turned out the lights, quietly drew a chalk circle on the floor of his shop, and made preparations to sacrifice a live chicken.

4 Comments so far

  1. cd (unregistered) on July 21st, 2006 @ 3:55 pm

    Next time, offer him 6 fresh cevapcici and say “bok” upon entering the room.

  2. US (unregistered) on July 21st, 2006 @ 4:11 pm

    Now I know I’m missing something? Do we live on the same planet? What’s the word for “cuff” in Croatian?

    By the way, there’s a dressmaker on Q Street, and I wonder if she’s aware of the cuff conspiracy. She has a purple beaded bodice in the window of her shop. Maybe these are messages from some other place. Then again, maybe not.

  3. cd (unregistered) on July 21st, 2006 @ 4:26 pm

    see, i knew my tailor was right for wearing that tin-foil covered spaghetti strainer . . . .

  4. Lauren (unregistered) on July 24th, 2006 @ 4:14 pm

    That is the funniest thing I have read all week!

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